Consumerism Issues

I have been quite an effective saving machine during the past few months. Except for the occasional dinners out, theater going (and I mean the musical theater kind, which means it's way more expensive than watching a regular movie) and, of course, the unavoidable gas and cellphone bill expenses, I haven't been spending a lot - and by that, I really mean I haven't been shopping. Those were the days when I'd go straight home from work, therefore avoiding any trips to the mall and what not. I realize now that that's precisely it! For me to be able to avoid the all too strong shopping temptation, I must not ever step foot inside a mall. Seriously. When you don't go to the mall, you're completely satisfied with everything you have - the amount of clothes, bags, gadgets, books and what not. During those mall-less days, I am able to look inside my closet and come to the conclusion that I actually do have enough clothes to last me the rest of the year AT LEAST. I mean, I can hardly even fit my clothes into my closet anymore! Same goes for my shoes and also for my gadgets. I mean, though my macbook is almost 6 years old (way past the life span of a laptop), it's still completely functional! I actually don't really need a new one yet. And I am getting by just fine without an itouch or a tablet or whatever new piece of technology out there (because one comes out almost every minute).

However, this contentment is not a result of some profound insight on materialism and the ephemeral nature of wordly possessions and neither is it a result of some life-changing epiphany on what's truly important in this world. Nope. Not even close.

Because, as soon as I step into a mall - even the smallest of SMs - I am forced out of my little bubble of contentment and consumed by the all powerful thirst for material possessions! For some reason, I instantly have a long list of things that I suddenly need! Seriously. Forget that I have a closet brimming with clothes! I have to buy new pants or a new top or a new dress! And of course, with such a wide array of selections, I don't just need one! I have to buy 2 or more of each! Then, I innocently stroll down the scarves section and I suddenly do a double take on a scarf that a minute ago, I wasn't even thinking about and had absolutely no intention of buying! And even when I tell myself I don't need another scarf, 30 minutes later, I find myself going back to that same aisle and grabbing the scarf that my wardrobe suddenly needs. Quite similarly, I also suddenly need new black shoes and a pair of decent wedges and about 2 more flats for school. Then I walk into a computer shop and suddenly, my old laptop is not enough. I have to get this new one because it has a new facetime feature and it's faster. My old one's getting slower and I must get a new one now to replace it because it's dying. And as if that's not enough, I also have to get an iTouch because it's so handy and I can bring it around and play games on it and take pictures with it. I mean, forget that I have a camera phone. The iTouch camera is so much better because I can install apps like instagram that can make my pictures look more artsy and cool! But then again, there's also the Galaxy tab which is even better than an iTouch because it's a more portable version of the iPad. Then I suddenly remember that I cannot actually afford all these things! I realize that I am not earning enough! Maybe I have to get a new and higher paying job so I can earn thousands more to buy all these new necessities! And to think, just an hour (or less!) before getting sucked into the great consumerist vortex that we call the mall, I was completely happy and content and earning more than enough for myself!

My goodness. I need some serious reality check.

Don't fret for me though. I am not some kind of pathological consumerist shopaholic. I have tremendous self control but that doesn't stop me from thinking and thinking and thinking about all these things that I need... NO, want. That's the trick, I guess, albeit a not always effective one. Nonetheless, I try to keep reminding myself that these are wants and NOT needs. WANTS. NOT. NEEDS. I don't need more clothes, shoes or bags. I don't need a new laptop. I don't need an iTouch with that cool camera and facetime feature. I don't need a Galaxy Tab. And I definitely cannot afford buying all of the above. However, that does not mean that I need a new higher paying job. I do not, at least not yet, need to earn thousands more than I already am. I am happy in my job. I shouldn't let my consumerism issues derail me from pursuing what I am passionate about. And no, I am not passionate about material possessions. Say it again. I am not passionate about material possessions. Good. Remember that.

Love, Oli :)