I have always been interested in people. I think that's the reason why I have always enjoyed reading other people's blogs. It allowed me to indulge in my passion for the individual, learning about their thoughts and dreams, their fears and insecurities and even the little things that irk them or make them happy. I discover so much in every single entry that, sometimes, if I really pay close attention, I can even uncover some thoughts or emotions that the blogger failed or deliberately chose not to mention. I must admit, this is actually quite fun to do! And what is proving to be increasingly more fun is being able to live vicariously through others by reading their blogs.
However, by some teasingly bizarre coincidence, a lot of my blogger friends seem to have taken quite the adventure-filled path in life. They're going out of the country, living in independence, away from parents and life as they formerly knew it to be. They're meeting new people, seeing amazing new things and really discovering a lot about the world and themselves, leaving regular boring girls like me thinking:
Am I at a point in my life where living vicariously through others is not anymore enough?
It seems that the entertainment and satisfaction that I derived from reading about other people's adventures came with the idea that those things can never happen to someone like me. I mean, I've lived a relatively tamed existence. I followed the rules and did everything that was asked and expected of me. My life is the textbook definition of the norm, with a few twists here and there. I guess it's always been like that because that's how I have always thought it was supposed to be for someone like me. At least, that's how generations of del Rosarios and Asuncions have done it. And yet, there are people my age, not that much different from me, who are breaking the rules, going above and beyond what's expected of them, going travelling, discovering new things, meeting all sorts of wonderful people, taking risks and branching out to infinitely greener pastures. Now, I find that with every exciting and adventure-filled blog entry that I read, I become more and more dissatisfied with my mediocre existence. I am starting to want more. And more importantly, I am beginning to realize that I can actually do more, that maybe I, too, can go on those adventures - traveling and living in a foreign country all by myself, talking to strangers, getting lost and finding my way around the place or even applying for international scholarships or internships. Never in my life have I ever considered applying for a scholarship, not even back in Ateneo, even if it was completely plausible.
I now realize that I've never really gone out of my way to make these things happen for myself. I've gotten too comfortable, too used to living in my little bubble of normal and expected that I don't even know where to start. Or how to start!
Okay, Oli. Relax.
Right now, I'm trying to calm myself down by reminding myself that I am on a self-imposed "break" - a Welcome break, as I termed it - which is now down to a week and a half. I am just realizing that maybe this dissatisfaction may be coming from the fact that I haven't really been doing anything of consequence lately, while plenty of my blogger friends have been living such exciting lives. I need to remind myself that I, too, will be embarking on my own little adventure in a few more days. I will also be experiencing new things, learning important lessons, meeting interesting new people and making something of myself. It may not be in a foreign country, but at least I get to enjoy the comforts of living in a nice comfortable home, whilst transitioning to independence. Plus, I get to work and interact with educators and children from all over the world! It's kinda like working in a foreign country but in the comforts of my homeland!
Okay, maybe I just overreacted a bit. Maybe my life isn't as dull as it turning out to be in comparison to my jetsetter friends. A little break is all I need. And maybe a game plan. And a whole lot of motivation and courage to take risks.
***
For now, I'd like to thank my blogger friends or better yet, all the bloggers of the world for sharing a bit of yourselves to the rest of us. Personally, you have all given me the determination and optimism that I need to go beyond the little boundaries I've set for myself and make more, if not the most, out of my life.
Someday, I'll be writing exciting adventure-filled blog entries too. With beautiful pictures to cap them all off!
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